Sunday, September 20, 2015
I dont know
1. I have this social anxiety that everyone hates me. And whatever I do or say will be judged. And everyone will hate whatever i will do. And everyone hates what I do.
2. Can someone please drag me out of my comfort zone, anyone? please?
3. I don't think I could fully fit in with people in general. I frequently feel that something in me just doesn't belong. (refer to number 1)
4. I pity number 4, it has been always objectified equivalent to death and bad luck. One day, a few years back, I decided to make it my lucky number. Am I a death angel now or..........
5. I feel like I'm a huge bitch to people sometimes.
6. I do not know how to effectively control my anger. No matter how much I've tried. I'm sorry everyone, I truly am.
7. I sometimes want to experience being a guy. For a lot of reasons which I have no energy to type here (fun reasons though)
8. Going temporarily wild sounds interesting. So I could feel like how it is to live without boundaries, be religion free and reckless (to be really honest i just really wanna go to a rave concert and it's morally unacceptable for people who wear tudung to go there so I have to go through the following phase to look as if I belong there but ngeh, this will remain not more than a fantasy. #BerpegangTeguhKepadaAlquranDanHadis #ConservativeParents)
9. My overthinking can go beyond your wildest imaginations. [ I now have planned hundreds of different options and roads for the future so just in case I overachieve or underestimate myself, Im ready ]
10. idk i just really want someone who can keep up with my most boring antics and my weirdest moods. someone who will, you know, can be all "Hi Syasya whaddup u ok" whenever that person sees me alone and all quiet while writing on to something and staring blankly at everyone. And can make jokes from anything ever possibly existed, even the most serious things. And can play along to my sarcastic responses. And is a really good listener, and someone who wont get bored telling me about the most pointless things. I wonder if that someone even exists....
Labels: thoughts
9:27 AM
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With SPM coming up, Syasya decides to write her journey to the biggest determiner of her life. (notice the brackets in her post counting down the days to the start of it) Turning 17 two days before Bahasa Melayu Paper 1, Syasya is an ambitious girl no taller than 5 foot 3, but with dreams higher than the sky. She spends her free time reading, sleeping, writing and lepaking. Syasya's a little bit weird sometimes, but, well, she likes to be different.
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