Friday, October 23, 2015
The real toxic
After all the period of heart break i finally came to a realisation that I was a huge problem as well. It occurred to me that I have never shown much affection and/or effort to anyone in my entire life. I was always the one waiting to be given attention, given love, when I have never really returned much of it eventually. And it hit me that if i ever had the chance to be with someone again, I would never change myself to show more affection to the person in particular. Only 'til i have lost the person then i will realise that i love the person that much. Which in the end, leaves me shattered inside out, as if their disappointment all this time was smacked into my face at once. Point is, I have been heartless and egoistic all this time and i think it's just for the best that I have no one special until i truly need it. It's not for me, but for the sake of anyone who is to be involved in my life. But well, if i have the strength to not show emotion then, i have the resilience to not be weak now, right?
6:48 AM
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For your perusing
With SPM coming up, Syasya decides to write her journey to the biggest determiner of her life. (notice the brackets in her post counting down the days to the start of it) Turning 17 two days before Bahasa Melayu Paper 1, Syasya is an ambitious girl no taller than 5 foot 3, but with dreams higher than the sky. She spends her free time reading, sleeping, writing and lepaking. Syasya's a little bit weird sometimes, but, well, she likes to be different.
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