Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Results
It's been a while since I've last written in here. Not that anyone cared, but since I'm addicted to writing, and this is my blog, i.e the place where i publicly post where i write, I am supposed to care. I went to Tanah Haram to perform my Umrah there for 10/11 days or so (i'll be writing about it later) and I didn't have much time to write lately. I can't believe i only have around 2 weeks of school holidays left - and oh i haven't finished my homework yet. True, I am used to doing stuff at the last minute but i think I am TOTALLY getting screwed this time. Oh well.
Earlier today they announced our finalised PT3 results and Alhamdulillah, luck was finally on my side for once. I got 10/10 As and so did the other 68 people in my batch. So that makes us 69/143 straight A students altogether (Together, we're #Glrflcs69 HAHA) I couldn't be there at school for the ceremony; I arrived at KLIA at around 12:15pm from Jeddah. But thanks to the wonders of technology, my friends were able to deliver the fantastic news anyway. Of course I'm happy to get straight As, who wouldn't be? This is the first time I aced all subjects in 3 respective years. In those three years I had like around 7 exams before i took the actual PT3. There's a number of people who've experienced straight As more than 4 or 5 times already. This is the first time of me getting straight As. It took me approximately 3 years to get my shit together.
Moreover, I must say, this year wasn't an easy year for me. Like everyone else, I had to go through non-stop classes from early in the morning until late in the afternoon and sleeping a bit late as usual or waking up 2 hours earlier than other people just to pray or study. My weekends were filled with my studies and I sacrificed sleep, time and energy for everything I did. Understanding different aspects of a particular topic is not as easy as it sounds. Studying requires passion and desire to succeed. You can't force someone to read a book or do exercises and automatically become Einsteins. It consumes a lot of your patience. Especially when you rather do something else other than studying (i.e SLEEP)
My life, as everyone else is not just tied up to JUST studying and academics and books only. I have extra co-curricular activities and hobbies and my social life. They need a lot of time, energy and patience as well. I had to give up afternoon training to either read some short notes or solve a few questions or just to simply rest and make sure my body has enough oxygen for that night. And I was really sad I couldn't join tournaments post June. I kept writing on my diary, it was worth the time though! I managed to get a pretty excellent mark for English - which I didn't really expect was possible to begin with. And I still hang around with my friends. And I had earphones and music. But that's probably the only entertainment I have. Putting things aside means you're getting left behind in terms of skills and you get awfully rusty. But then again, one thing you learn from a busy schedule is Prioritisation. Everything's important to you equally. But you have to pick the one which brings the biggest benefit - making it matter to you the most.
Okay the point is, I worked extremely hard for PT3, just as much as everyone else did. All my hardwork has finally paid off for once. I initially gotten 4As 2Bs (minus orals and geog and sej) when i first checked my results due to my science and maths both being 81. Believe me, I have never been that sad since forever. I cried the whole day (cengeng ah gak haha) and the day after and the day after that. And i was practically sad til the third day i was at home because my parents confronted me everyday saying that they were proud of my results and i've worked really hard. Something in me just snapped however since i checked my papers. I felt extremely hopeless. I was tired of studying and going all hardcore and not exceeding my target at all for those two killer subjects. That just adds up to the list that nothing has ever worked out in my life. Of course it affected me a lot.
Throughout the rest of the holidays i didn't really care about my results anymore and i let anything sink in as i don't know what else am I supposed to do but to pray harder. I felt relieved when the rumours from LPM said that they're gonna turn 80 as an A like it was supposed to in the previous years. At least it will look good on my result slips. But I will never forgive myself for not achieving what I wanted in the first place. Never.
So if any of you happen to not get the results you wanted, i know it's late to say this but it's okay to be sad. You've sacrificed a lot of your effort for it and you were trying so hard to impress your parents and prove to other people that you can actually do great. It's not that you can't get good results forever, but it's just that you haven't received them now. Do know that the heart is able to desire, the flesh is able to work but only Allah can give what's best for you. Be grateful to Him and you will receive something better in the future. Never lose hope in His mercy. It's not the end. Wake up and start striving to be better.
As for how I got straight As; well - I have no real, unique secret of my success that is different than other excellent scorers. So just do what you're supposed to do to score. And do good to people. That's all. We all deserve the best. Be thankful for the best that has been given to you.
2:17 AM
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With SPM coming up, Syasya decides to write her journey to the biggest determiner of her life. (notice the brackets in her post counting down the days to the start of it) Turning 17 two days before Bahasa Melayu Paper 1, Syasya is an ambitious girl no taller than 5 foot 3, but with dreams higher than the sky. She spends her free time reading, sleeping, writing and lepaking. Syasya's a little bit weird sometimes, but, well, she likes to be different.
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